family matters

Heyaa! Lately I`ve been hearing and thinking a LOT about families - my family, my friends familes and friends who become like second family to me. I`ve been talking to many people abobut this subject and it is so often so heartbreaking... I hear stories about mothers not talking with daughters, brothers hating their sisters, daughters avoiding their mothers, sons disrespecting their fathers, fathers ignoring their daughters, mothers abusing their sons for protecting them, sisters giving up on their brothers, sons being annoyed by their parents and other just heartbreaking stories. It really makes me wonder what is going on with people and the world... Family - that`s the strongest bond there for a person - your parents, who gave you your life, your siblings, who teach you to accept the people around you for whoever they are if only there is that love, your grandparents, cause they just treasure you, your children - there is no comment necessary for why your children are that special to you. That is family. But then what is going on with people? Those fights, conflicts, unresolved issues, spite and often just misunderstandings...It`s leaving so many people alone and lonely, and confused. Just lost in their lives with seemingly no place to go. But that is not true. If people would stand up to their issues and face them instead of avoiding them or keeping them in the heart and just putting them on shelf for safe-keeping for forever, so many people would be so much more happy. With so many more people to go to and be safe with. I think in so many people there is that pain inside and that ache inside, that just keep crunching on their hearts and mind. And some of the issues are definitely when talking about me too. But then again... I remember my childhood with just freakin` amazing Christmases, birthdays, midsummer festivals and just simple garden joint works on a summer day with mom making pancakes with jam for dinner for all. That feeling of being together with people who love you and who you love - that is the real happiness. Love should be ingredient in everything. I can`t imagine my life without that ingredient in everything. That is how my childhood was - happy with a big family around, with love around, with people who took care of me and I took care of them in our own ways. And I loved that so much. And recently I have understood that I don`t have that happy and loving part in my life at the moment. And what is worse, it is my own fault. And I want to change that again. I want to take that back. Take back it is mine and what is available to take. They are my family and I love them. And I miss that bond between us again. And I feel it`s my fault for a big part. And I have tried to push some issues away. Just to push my own life forward. but maybe it is time for me to understand that my own life is connected with my family, and a very big part of it. I miss that support, that relationship in both ways. And now my own personal life I tried to push so hard forward has made me no choice but to face my own issues and to take that part back in life. And fix it. And see myself in that good point in the future again - with big family Christmases, birthdays, midsummer festivals and just simple garden joint works on a summer day with mom making pancakes with jam for dinner for all.  If I don`t fix things now, there will not be that future... It is time!