hermit

Hermit - a person who lives, to some degree, in seclusion from society. In modern colloquial usage, the term "hermit" denotes anyone living a life apart from the rest of society, or who simply does not participate in social events as much as is common, regardless of their motivation in doing so, including the misanthrope.

To dream of a hermit, denotes sadness and loneliness caused by the unfaithfulness of friends. If you are a hermit yourself, you will pursue researches into intricate subjects, and will take great interest in the discussions of the hour. To find yourself in the abode of a hermit, denotes unselfishness toward enemies and friends alike.

pensieve

Heyaa, my little pensieve of thoughts! Loads of thinking has been going on lately again. Although - it seems there is always lots of thinking with me. Maybe sometimes too much. Too much worries and tension from nothing. I have had many people telling me that I have to take things easier and not be so hard on myself for things that have been in the past. Just to let go and be happy me. Am I doing that? - No! Do I want to do that? - Yes! This brings me back to all the previous posts I have in this blog already. There is nothing else I can say about that all, I guess. But there are some things that have been in my mind for a little while now. That is my slow understanding that probably most of the people around me have been right. Maybe not all the time, but recently yes. And with this I mean that maybe I really am wasting my life lately. I really don`t do anything much. And in my mind I have my reasons that were really valid for a while before, but when I think about that now - they kind of seem just excuses. But the fact is - I am still not really ready to kick the life alive again. And now it is more for other reasons than before - now it is my uncertainty of myself and my strength, now it`s the shame I have for my avoidance, my lack of experience, my thoughts that I am just not good enough, that I will fail, that I will let my beloved people down again. And I can`t really say these things out loud to anyone.